Catatan Bening
Saturday, November 18, 2006
PATIENCE
Tired !
Really very very tired !
Everytime i come with the revisions, my main lecture come with new ideas to be developed.
It has been the 5th, and still he arise new things ...
Seems like it will have no end at all ...
I already been in page 198, and he ask me to go deeper in looking at what kind of entrepeneurship arosed in each level of educations ... just with the reason that the research showing an interesting trend to be analysed !
That's not that simple, Sir ! ... It needs another thesis to analyse that matter ... i will not go there, i will not go there (hiks hiks hiks ..) My research is not enough to support me, and i do not want to be hanged by the panelist in final exam !!! Couldn't i put it in Suggestion to have other people continue the research on that matter, please ? (hiks hiks ..) .... It has been run far enough from my topic and i have not enough data for that. I do not want to collect new data for that, and why not you gave this idea at first before it has been this far ? OMG !!!!
I really want to scream and cry in front of him .... but didnt have bravery ! (hikssssssssss )
But crying while driving home really not help at all ... i should told him right in his face : I will not be a Doctor yet, Sir !!!!! .... I want to spend all bad words i knew from the net because of his blind ambition, but i know it will bring me nowhere ! He will still like that , keep asking me to do more and more and never be satisfied !!!
My second lecture seems feel pity on me and try to keep me calm with always saying good things that will cheer me up. He said, my main lecture only choose the best and will bring the best out of me .... He knows what he did ... and that's why He is being SOMEONE in this country !
But it cant help my frustation in facing "this wannabe professor soon". One by one my friends finish theirs, and make sure they will follow January graduations while i still being trapped in my topic .... I hate Him for doing this to me .... He keep saying that he knows who i am, and he hope nothing less than what he knows ... (hiks) ....!
Really i regret why i follow my desire to have "the best & favorite lecture" anyone want to have to guide them in finishing the thesis .... From 47 students, 32 choose him and he choose by his own standart for only two students ...one is me ! And I proud of that by that time ....but now ...(hiks) ....Never imagine it will end up like this !
I am really tired ... fedddddddddddd up in reading textbooks, analysing things, meeting & talking with him .... i want to run , i want to cry as much as i can cry, i want to forget all of that, flying high, really high to the sky, just sitting on the cloud ... watching the beautiful sea far below, hearing the wind playing violin, teasing the sparrow and tickling their wing softly, half sleeping ...hmmm ..hmmmm ..... AND ... i want him come to my dream, saying that what i did is really great, he is satisfied with the result and he wish me a good luck in Final Exam soon !!!
For now, keep dreaming , girl ! (hiks hiks hiks ..)
Who knows dreams will come true ...
Really I should ask more to Allah to keep my patience, my strength, my power, my spirit ....
If Allah will, it will !!!
Ameen (hikssssssssssssssssss )
Posted by SebeningDoaMalam ::
8:56 AM ::
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